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Is Grinding a sin?

A Xt3 Member asked at 10:07pm on May 23rd 2018
There’s going to be a school dance soon and I know there’s gonna be a lot of grinding/twerking. I feel like it’s assimilated into our society now, it’s such a common thing. More directly related to my question is, is grinding a sin if you want to see if you and a girl have a connection, or is it a sin at all? Thank you and have a good day!

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Hi Ryan, whenever I'm asked is this or that a sin, I don't want to answer the question put in that way since it doesn't seem to be much use in training our consciences, where what's a 'sin' can come across as something imposed from outside like a police regulation on underage drinking!

Isn't it better to remember the only time Jesus referred to sexual immorality, when he said that 'every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart' (Mt 5:28). As St John Paul II explains, 'heart' means the full depth of the person as loved by God. Now God loves each one of us for our own sake, not at all for what he gets out of us (speaking for myself, I've been a dead loss, if I weigh my sins against any good I may have done, so I'm badly in need of God's mercy!).

The activities you mention seem more in the direction of mutual masturbation than expressions of the kind of self-sacrificing love for the other that Jesus is asking from us when he asks us to 'love one another as I have loved you' (Jn 13:34). That's the only genuine and Christian 'connection' we can have with anyone, and I'd say that we'd be only fooling ourselves if we thought that through the activities you mention we're actually connecting with another person at all. Rather, we're primarily aimed at 'connecting' with our own pleasure - which is certainly what we could call sinful. So why don't you be sure that whoever you dance with shares the vision of life Jesus has given us, because that way you're finding someone you could one day discover could be your partner in a lifelong marriage. Very best, Fr Brendan
Xt3's Ask a Priest answered at 10:20pm on June 6th 2018 reply

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