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Beauty and ugly

A Xt3 Member asked at 12:58pm on May 28th 2018
Why God made some people very beautiful and some very ugly?This is very unfair,the beautiful ones are way more favorized,earn more money,more succesfull careers,and the most important they have the chance to be loved by the one they love,they can pick as much partners as they wish while if you are ugly you are discriminated,some don't even give you a chance before getting to know you and being ugly make impossible to find a partner,to be loved by the one you love,that is just impossible if you are ugly.Beauty doesn't come from inside,it can be a bonus but no one will want to be your partner if you are ugly even if you are "beautiful inside" no one looks at that when it comes up to choosing a partner.If you are beautiful your life is awesome,if you are ugly your life sucks,you will be probably alone forever or with someone you don't like because you can't choose and go for the one you like,you have to accept anything because there probably wont be a second chance.I don't see the point living as an ugly,is no point,no pleasure in life,life is horrible.

Beauty is not in the eye of beholder,only in cases like (for instance)1 guy looks 8 and the other 9 and the first one got blue eyes and the girl like more boys with blue eyes so she will go for him.but in case you look 4 as grade or 2 then there is no hope.

Some say God doesn't make ugly people,is the society which categorize people as beautiful and ugly ,but we are born with this attraction to the beautiful people,even baby have a bigger attraction to the beautiful than to the ugly ones,it is scientific proven that we are born with this and even in the bible are humans described by their physical appereance like Saul,David,Sarah,Rachel,Tamar...

They say God don't judge us on our physical appereance,ok right but in this life looks are everything,if you are ugly life is so bad,doomed do be alone,never have a family,life can't be compared to the ones that look good,their life is way better and happier.

Why is this unfairness allowed?Why can't we all be equal?There is no point in life being ugly,no way to build a family with the one you love,no way to be happy.Why I should live a life I do not enjoy?The beautiful ones can live a beautiful life here and in the other one aswell(if they do the right things...) while some of the ugly ones will have bad lives here and in the other one too and some will go to heaven if they can accept this unfairness and a so cruel life.

Thank you!

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Hi Zer0 Zero! There's no easy answer to all your questions, I'm afraid. One of my best friends was Eddie McCaffrey, born in Liverpool, England, then moved to Dublin, Ireland, where I lived for a lot of my life and where I met him. From seven years old, Eddie suffered from muscular dystrophy, and I got to know him when he was about 22. When he was in his late teens, feeing he had no future, he wouldn't let his mother take him to church anymore.

During a trip to Rome, because he was in a wheelchair, he and his mother Margaret were placed around the altar in St Peters, and after speaking to all the pilgrims there, Blessed Pope Paul VI spoke in English to Eddie, and urged him to be patient and keep joy in his heart. These words, personally said just to Eddie, left him and speechless, he never thought he'd get a 'private audience' with the Pope.

Eddie learned how to see Jesus suffering and forsaken on the Cross in all his own inabilities and frustrations. He could even write to Chiara Lubich, who'd founded the Work of Mary or Focolare Movement: 'Now I see my disability as a Gift from God!' Unable to attend meetings of the young people who shared their lives with him and each other, he said: 'Some of us have to be roots, and some of us have to be branches with a visible and active part. I have to be more "underground."' Quoting St Paul he said: 'God has chosen what is foolish in the world to shame the wise and has chosen what is weak in the world to shame the strong.'

In my work at university in Dublin, I had a student who was severely depressed, and introduced him to Eddie, who really helped him. Once Eddie said of him, 'it's a pity he doesn't realize that you don't solve problems, you love them.' Eddie knew his own handicap couldn't be 'solved' - but by loving or accepting it from God, he'd actually left his handicap behind. That love meant the art of focusing on other people's problems so as to forget his own. On the same street as him lived a boy with a serious hump on his back that made it difficult for him to do things. Only after Eddie had died did we find a poem he'd written for that boy (and probably given him without anyone knowing), which he called: 'Courage on a bicycle.' He focused on others rather than on himself.

The real problem, that Eddie had more or less resolved, is to try to learn to see things the way Jesus does. That means I've got to really get to know him - through prayer, through the sacraments of confession and especially the Eucharist, and to find him in every neighbour I meet. By trying to love others, the more lovable I become, and the more lovable I become, the more likely it is that others will love me too. In the end, if people only love others on the basis of appearance rather than who they really are - and of course most of us find it hard to get beyond that level(!) - they aren't mature enough for a really deep relationship. So my prayer is that sooner or later you find someone who can go way beyond outer appearances to the eternal beauty of your inner self, where God, Infinite Love also dwells. Very best, Fr Brendan
Xt3's Ask a Priest answered at 10:26pm on June 6th 2018 reply
 

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