Year of Youth 2018
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Can a good man find love?

A Xt3 Member asked at 11:53am on July 21st 2018
I am a guy who is overly sensitive as far as guys so. I get emotional and even teary-eyed at times. And I miss family and don't really do casual dating. Looking for something only for the long run. And I feel lonely most of the time. People advise me to Go out there and just date casually, but I can't bring myself to do that since I get attached. I'm definitely the commitment type, not the playboy type. Have a great career and good stuff going on otherwise. But no chic's ever fallen in love with me, especially once they have seen my vulnerable side. Is there any hope for me?

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Hi Jibin, a friend in Ireland used to say that getting a partner in marriage is like getting a job, it's a full time job! You mention being lonely most of the time, but if you're not involved in some Catholic group, like St Vincent de Paul, Legion of Mary, or whatever is on offer in your local church or churches nearby, I'd suggest joining one of these groups.

Obviously only if there are people of the opposite sex more or less in your age range, not much point joining the local Golden Years Group! In Ireland there used to be a Catholic dating service, and if there's one near you, that might be worth a try too-two great friends of mine met through that Irish dating site for Catholics, and for many years have been happily married with a family. Or it could be something as simple as joining a church choir, which can be a good way of meeting a Catholic woman who may also be looking for a partner in marriage.

The value of these kind of groups is that it's often through volunteering with others to help those in need that people get to know each other-and even to come to appreciate the unique person maybe hidden behind a more vulnerable exterior. All the qualities you mention-being vulnerable, emotional, with a career, are just what many women are looking for, so I can't believe there isn't someone out there who will respond to you. But you'll have to make that first step of reaching out-despite all that's said about women's liberation, in our society, the man may still be expected to make the first invitation needed to begin a friendship. Keeping you in my prayers that soon you'll meet the person God would like you to marry. Very best, Fr Brendan
Xt3's Ask a Priest answered at 4:23pm on August 5th 2018 reply

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